The April Fools' Gospel: 

Jesus took away your sins, once for all, but He'll bring them all back at the Final Judgment.

You're not under the law, but you should still look to the moral law as your source to guide you. 

You were crucified with Christ, but it was only positional, and your old self keeps crawling from the tomb to haunt you.

The blood of Jesus Christ made you close to God forever, but because of all your struggles, you're out of fellowship half the time.

Your sins have been forgiven,past present and future.But you must confess your already forgiven sins to be forgiven.

It's crazy the things we hear in churches today.

Now, to my fellow pastors.Let us try to be as accurate and truthful to our congregations as much as we possibly can.The preaching on giving a monthly 10% tithe poses a major threat to our credibility as teachers even at the most basic level.

The Old Covenant law which was only given to Old Covenant Israel never applied to Gentiles or Christians (Rom 1:18-20; 2:14-16,common sense).

If we preach the tithe,we must go all the way and teach all the other 613 commandments and enforce them as urgent and as frequently as we do the tithe.For obvious reasons which I won't list here for lack of time and space,we don't do that.(James 2 10,Galatians 5 3)

"But didn't Abraham tithe before the law?then that makes it an eternal principle." Am sure you have heard of this argument.Well,it's debunked by two things.Circumcision was also practised before the law.That doesn't make it an eternal christian principle does it?Paul in fact warns the Galatians against "those of the circumcision."
Also Abraham tithed once.Not monthly.Neither did he tithe his own possessions.
So let us not sneak in non christian principles for the sake of our pockets.

Giving in the New covenant should be from the heart ,be it 2%  45%,nothing,whatever the christian feels like giving,let them.(2corinthians 9 7)We should not pressure them with threats of financial ruin or bait them with promises of greater financial harvest.(usually done by taking Malachi 3 out of context).

This is good for the bride of Christ in general and we as leaders should trust that God will sustain His ministry.
Of course nothing  is as awkward as correcting a teaching that we have preached for years on end.So what about we start slow.Let us not preach tithing for a whole year.

Link to a hilarious but serious video on tithing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRahv1Y4atU

"WHERE IS THE LOVE I WAS TOLD ABOUT?WHERE IS THE PEACE AND THE JOY OF BEING A CHRISTIAN"THE CHURCH IS GIVING A FALSE IMAGE TO THE WORLD OUT THERE.

Am sure most of you have experienced this,when you got saved.They said that God loves you unconditionally,come just as you are and experience true love,better than your parents love,realer than all your friendships combined.

Then as soon as you got saved,a list of do's and dont's appear coupled with strict laws linked with promises of judgement.Nothing about the love you were promised,just another religion.Like a strict high school.

The world has been hoodwinked by hypocrisy from the church.

If it is not grace being preached and Jesus and His love illuminated,then that is not the gospel.Plain and simple.The true gospel is awesome and mightily wonderful and life changing.

Friends,any teaching that makes you feel that you should do something to obtain God's favor,love or mercy should be avoided if not banished.Any teaching that gives you the sense that God is angry with you or is displeased with you should be completely ignored.
Do not be fooled
There is no way God can suck that much.He is not an insecure father like most churches have potrayed Him to be.Think of Him as your earthly father combined with your earthly best friend but 1000times better and more open.

That is how you should relate with God,that is when you can have a relationship with God.
You may say,"but am not a good person."Now who told you God is for good people.
Either way,He judges you based on Christ's finished work on the cross and not your deeds because all your sins past present and future were put on Christ and thus you are now eternally righteous.

EVEN IF YOU DONT CONFESS YOUR SINS DAILY OR WEEKLY,YOU ARE STILL FORGIVEN.ITS JUST COMMON SENSE
Friends
How can we tell the congregation that if they do not confess their sins,or keep short accounts with God on their sin, He will not forgive them? So what are we saying? That our forgiveness is based on our daily/weekly confessions?How dare we preach that? But what about 1 John 1 9 The ONLY verse in the entire bible that seems to suggest we must confess our sins or else we will not be forgiven.

I will need you guys to really pay attention on this one.

The first chapter of John was specifically addressing a group of people called gnostics and docetists. Now any pastor worth your time should know this.A simple background check on context should reveal this.Heck even Wikipedia, WIKIPEDIA!!! States this fact on its contents under the first epistle of John page.
Yet many pastors and preachers teach as if this chapter is addressed to Christians causing more harm than good.
Anyway the gnostics are a type of spiritual UNBELIEVERS who claimed that Jesus if He be God then did not come in real human flesh(explains why John was insisting on Christ’s physicality in the opening verses) neither did He die on the cross,they even questioned the existence of sin.

John was speaking to such in this chapter. So with that context in mind,lets look at 1 John 1 8-10
1 John 1 8
If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.
Remember, Sin to the Gnostics was a figment of imagination. It does not exist. They believed they had no sin in their lives and so John addresses this directly with a very strong statement of fact.
1 John 1 9
On the other hand, "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1 10
If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.

The Gnostics were told in no uncertain terms, if they were to confess (agree with God completely) regarding sin,that sin did infact exist and then they could realize that they were still in sin,still in Adam and not in Christ.That if they agreed with God concerning this issues,then nothing stops them from being purified from ALL unrighteousness.
Notice “ALL”…not “some” that were confessed today.
Then in verse 10 he reaffirms the truth that sin exists otherwise God would be a liar.

Friends
The whole of this chapter in a more accurate sense would be Saint John hoping to convince unbelievers in the existence of sin and how they must believe in a real life Jesus who was not a spirit as they (gnostics) claimed.
However If you still insist on daily confession to get forgiveness, what happens while confessing you miss out on one?
So what should we do when we commit sins?

When you sin and you will sooner or later,keep in mind and at heart that your sins of the past present and future are forgiven and that you are still a child of God. It is by keeping your eyes on the glory of the Lord (Jesus and His finished work on the cross) that we are transformed from glory to glory into a similar image.2 corinthians 3 18.
It is grace(what you just read up there) that teaches us to say no to ungodliness. Titus 2 12
Friends God loves you and does not want you to have a consciousness of sin.Instead He wants you to have peace and confidence when you approach Him. Understand that nothing can separate you from His love. Romans 8 39
You are free to confess your sins to God, but your confession will not get you any more forgiveness.I understand that sometimes we do apologise to God for stuff we do/did and there is nothing wrong with that.
The lie that we refute is that we must confess our sins daily,weekly or yearly or else we are not forgiven.
Now share this with your pastor and get excommunicated.
Seriously though,Thanks for reading the whole thing.I know it’s much longer than our usual posts but it was necessary.Thanks again.See you soon.

IN CHRIST, EVERYDAY IS VALENTINES DAY

To you my dearest beloved
My heart’s desire is that you rest in me. The heavenly promises I have made to you are designed to give you peace, even in the most violent of storms.

Sometimes you plead with me for a circumstance to change. You ask again and again that it be taken away. My heart longs for you to see more fully how my grace is sufficient for you, even in this.
For my power is made perfect in the midst of your weakness.

But to rest in me takes work. It’s not the kind of work you’re used to but a very different kind of work. I’m asking you to dig deeper into all that I’ve done for you on the cross so that you can more fully celebrate it, even when outwardly there seems only cause for pain.

Through my finished work, I have made you clean and close to me, and you can come boldly and speak freely in my presence, relaxing in and with me at any time.My dear,I would have you keep in mind that nothing can ever separate you from my love,not even sin.We are inseparable.

My love,I would like you to also understand that disease,poverty,loss stress and heart break are not from heaven.Instead the plans I have for you are to prosper and promote you and not to harm or hurt you.I will ensure that no plan of the enemy triumphs over you and that your enemies will wish they never attacked you in the first place.

Therefore my bride,do not let fear grip your heart or worry overcome your soul for I have hidden you in my secret place where I watch over you day and night.

I promise to always be on your side,never to leave you,get angry with you or remind you of your sins.Instead,I will pick you up when you fall,guide you when you get lost and remind you that your righteousness is in me.

I long for you to awaken to the goodness of my grace. As you discover the heights and depths of my love for you, you will experience relationship with me like you never imagined possible.
I really love you, and my heart longs for you to know me as I truly am.

Believe me when I say that I will NEVER stop loving you,Yes,even to the end of time.You will always be mine and I will always be yours.

Jesus

[letter inspired by Hebrews 3:15; 4:9–11; 6:19;13 5,4:16;10 17 John 14:27; 16:33; 2 Corinthians 12:8–10; Ephesians 3:18,Romans 8 39,Isaiah 54 9,deuteronomy 28 7,Jeremiah 29 11,psalm 91 1]